CORRECTION ON PREVIOUS POST: "Married with Children..." Post

CORRECTION!
Sorry for the delay. But this just occurred to me today:
I stated that Mick Jagger was in the rock band Aerosmith. He's not. Steven Tyler is.

Don't ask me why I made that connection... I have no idea! :)

The Faces of Karis

Just for fun, I took just a few of the millions of photographs we have of Karis and decided to put together a little collage on Photoshop to post on my blog. As you look at all of the "Faces of Karis" you may be able to see why we love her sooooo much! Enjoy!

And Now: Married With Children! Well... With A Child!

Karis (pronounced like Paris but with a 'K') has now been with us for over 4 months now. All you have to do is walk into our apartment and see that it now looks like a very messy day care center. Toys, burp cloths, bibs, and bottles are sprinkled throughout our digs and I love it! Don't get me wrong being a first time mom has been a tough adjustment for me (and I'm still adjusting). But I can't imagine not having our little girl with us.

Let me introduce you to Karis Rose Villodas. She is 4 months and 2 weeks old and FULL of personality. She loves to be tickled and to see her mom, dad, aunts and uncles act super silly just to get a laugh! She knows what she wants and is not afraid to cry for it... :) Karis enjoys sitting on her dad's lap and watching the Mets game (Dad has already brainwashed her). She actually stares at the television as if she is following the game. Karis is always looking for a change of scenery. She loves to look at and examine her environment. With wide and bright eyes she looks at every corner of a room searching for something to capture her attention. Once she finds the attention grabber she is focused.

When you call her name and give her a big smile she will turn towards the sound of your voice, catch your smile and put her head down as if she was blushing from the flattery of your attention. This will totally melt your heart as it does ours.

Her laugh is infectious! All you want to do is hear it again, and again. You'll do anything to hear that laugh. Yes even sound and look like an utter fool! But who cares... Karis' laugh is one of the best sounds you could ever hear.

As for me... I'm sooooooo tired! She is a lot of work. More work than what you read about in books, online articles or Child Preparation classes. Richard and I were married a little over 3 years before we had Karis. I thought I was busy then! Boy was I wrong. She's 2 Full-time jobs! :) Don't get me wrong. I can't imagine not having Karis around. She belongs in our family, and I love her. But becoming a mom for the first time has proven a challenge for me. I'm used to picking up and going as I please, getting PLENTY of sleep and having a lot more ME time. Now it's packing several bags for a trip to Grandma's, waking up at all hours to feed her or soothe her crying and starting ME time only to be cut short for a feeding or Karis time!

Now that we are 4 months into it I'm starting to get into a rhythm with Karis. I'm learning her cries and discovering new ways to soothe her and meet her needs. And as she gets older I'm sure it will become more manageable.

I recently tried to start a Part-Time work from home gig only to realize she was still young and the time it took me to make any progress at work took a lot out of me. I spent many hours away from her at 3 months old and it broke my heart. She had grown so close to me. I had barely left her for that long before. I had then decided to put that on hold and take this time to get to know Karis better and to do more reflecting.

At different stages of your life certain "parts" of you (sides of you) begin to reveal themselves. For example: I've never been a mother before, so at this stage in my life I'm learning more about what is important to me as a mother, how patient I am or am not, etc. So, I'm learning to let all of my experiences as a new mom sink in. I'm enjoying every moment. And I'm especially enjoying Karis. She wont be this little for much longer. And in the words of Mick Jagger (Aerosmith) "I don't want to miss a thing."

9 Day's & Counting...

So according to the ticker on our blog, it says Karis Rose is due 9 days from now. So I have decided to give everyone an update on how I'm feeling.

The first 7 months of my pregnancy were great! I kept having to remind myself, "I'm having a baby. Take it easy Rosie, no you can't plaster, sand and paint your apartment...!" By the eighth month I was like, "Ok, I'm having a baby. This is not that bad. I'm getting a little more tired than usual. But, no biggie. I can handle this." Now I'm in my 9th month (about to hit 39 weeks) here's what I've been feeling:
*Achy joints
*Immobile (hard to get up out of a chair, couch, car, etc.)
*Waddling (I've been trying really hard not to waddle while I walk but to no avail...)
*Walking is both tiring and uncomfortable.
*Very, very, swollen ankles.
*None of my shirts fit well anymore. :-(
*It's easy to catch a leg cramp.
...among many other unpleasant pregnancy side effects.

But as I sit and ponder this journey called pregnancy, becoming a mother all I can say is WOW! How amazing is this that my daughter is growing inside me right now and soon (very soon) I will meet her in person for the very first time. I will be able to be a witness to her life how God chooses to reveal His love to and through her.

Rick and I will no longer be a family of 2 but a family of 3. I can't wait to meet her. What will she be like? What kind of personality will she have? Will she be quiet, loud, silly, funny, inquisitive, curious, mellow...? I wonder...

As I get closer to D-Day (Delivery Day) I feel two things. (1) Anxiousness; I read all the books, asked all the questions but still don't know what to expect. All I know is that there is an end and the end is sooooo sweet! (2) Anticipation; I can't wait to meet her. Karis Rose Villodas. Richard and I can wait to love her, laugh with her, grow with her (as parents) and just to enjoy her as the gift that she is.

This pregnancy has been a blessing in so many ways. The little irritating side effects have been nothing compared to the joy of knowing what's to come. Our little girl.

I'll tell you one thing though, much love and respect goes out to all women who have been through and are going through a pregnancy right now. You are all beautiful and when someone asks you what is your superpower you should say, "I make human beings!!!!!" LOL! :-)

Florida Baby Shower Video

Here's a little video I put together with pics and footage of our baby shower in Florida. Enjoy!



http://gallery.me.com/rosangelavillodas#100088


Rosie

My week at the monastery with the Trappists

This week, Drew Hyun and I went up to Spencer, MA to spend time in prayer and reflection with the monks at St. Abbey's monastery. The Cistercian order (or Trappists) is a monastic order known to many because of the writings and ministry of Thomas Merton. We joined the 70 or so monks for four days and below are my journal entries of my experience. I feel like I'm a perpetual beginner when it comes to prayer. Maybe that's not a bad thing. I hope these entries can connect with you on some level and get you to think on what it means to be a contemplative and follow Jesus in our world today.

3/23/09 @ St. Abbey's Monastery. 5pm:

Today, Drew and I drove to St. Abbey's to rest and enjoy God's presence. As we walked into the retreat house (which was beautifully constructed), I felt at home. The first thing I recognized was the warmth of the building. The temperature was perfect, especially in light of a cold and windy afternoon. For some reason I expected to be in a cold, dark room with mice running around. We met the Guest Master (a man named Joseph who was in his 70's) and he showed us to our rooms. Drew is in St. Peter's room. I'm in St. Paul's. I like to think that I'm like Paul sometimes. At least I imagine myself to be. The room is perfectly spacious for me, with brick walls and a bathroom that looks like a Home Depot model (at least the shower). Small, but quaint. Joseph gave us a brief tour of the house and it is so beautiful. So quiet. So serene. When Drew asked about what we should be doing when we get to the times of prayer, Joseph gave us simple instructions. "Follow and Listen." I hope to live out those instructions well over the next four days. Follow and listen to God's spirit directing me. I miss Rosie already.

Well, it's about 5:30pm. Time to go to Vespers to observe the office.







3/23/09 @ 6:30pm

Vespers was a great office. As the bell rang, I followed the father (monk) and the other retreatants (7 others) on a single-file line. We walked across the building, through the kitchen and dining rooms into the visitors chapel. The chapel is beautiful. Dark brown wooden ceilings, brick walls. Simple, yet awesome. The monks walked in and then there were readings. Before that however, as we walked into the chapel, I saw people placing their hand/fingers in something. Not knowing what it was (and not wanting to stand out), I place my hand, almost my entire hand into what they called holy water. At this time, I thought, "what in the world am I doing?!" It was pretty funny how I can go with the flow and not have a clue what I'm doing. We followed the readings as the monks chanted scripture with a fullness and rhythm. Then they chanted the Lord's prayer (Our Father, which art in heaven...). That was one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard.

3/23/09 @ 8:30pm

Compline (the last office of the day) began at 7:40pm. After a great hour nap, I got up and followed the monks (although I was late and had to find my way to the chapel). I almost got lost. That would NOT have been a good thing! As I walked in, the lights were dim, and then, after sitting down, it went pitch black, except for the little light that the monk read scripture from. They chanted while one of them played an acoustic guitar. At first, I was very self-conscious and anxious. What do I read? How do I know what to do next? When is this over? Then I remembered the words of Joseph the Guest Master. "Follow and Listen." In the darkness, I listened and heard the word of God proclaimed. Then one monk prayed something to the effect of "Lord, give us rest tonight from all the work we have done today." There was a surrendering of the day to the Lord at 8pm! That's when the night usually begins for me! The atmosphere was full of peace. Anxiety and worry were no where to be found. We did all we could today. I then got on line to leave and one of the fathers sprayed me with holy water. Definitely not expecting that! But it was all good. I'm gonna call Rosie now, eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and read a bit. Next office is the Vigil at 3:30am!

(Please stay tuned for more of my journal entries).

3/24/09 @ 4:15am. In my room.

I woke up at 3:15am this morning. I got bed at 10:30 last night. Haven't got to bed at that time in a while. I feel surprisingly refreshed. I know some of this can be attributed to adrenaline. I threw on my wind breaker pants and jacket, washed my face and left. I walked over to the visitors chapel with Drew. We had to walk outside to get there. It was very cold! As we sat in the chapel at 3:30am the bells rang. One of the monks, in a deep, raspy (almost scary) voice read from Psalms. I believe it was Psalm 73. The monks responded antiphonally. Another monk got up and read Romans 9:6-15 in a clear, articulate (almost like a guy who would be a Christian radio host) voice. There was then a reading from Hebrews 8:1-13. Then a reading from St. Augustine on his commentary on the Psalms. That was a very moving reading. I'm back in my room now and I'm enjoying the silence. I'm gonna read from Merton now.

Lord, I offer you my day. May my mind and heart remember you. May I love you in all your goodness.

James Finley on Thomas Merton in his book "Merton's Palace of Nowhere"

"Merton leads us along the journey to God in which the self that begins the journey is not the self that arrives. The self that begins is the self that we thought ourselves to be. It is this self that dies along the way, until in the end, "no one" is left. This "no one" is our true self. It is the self that stand prior to all that is this or that. It is the self in God, the self bigger than death, yet born of death. It is the self the Father loves forever." pg 17

3/24/09 @ 5:30am

As I sit here and read, thoughts of super-piety rush to my mind. But it is the piety that wants people to "recognize" a difference in me. I want them to see me with a "glow" without me having to say anything. Kinda like a Bruce Leroy glow! Well, maybe not like Bruce Leroy. Then I realize that my false self is asserting itself again. There are times when I am content with hiddenness. Then there are time when I long for notoriety. For praise. For affirmation. For people to put me on their shoulders like Rudy. But Lord, help me to recognize that my deepest desire is that I would be found in you.

Another quote from Finley on Merton:

Here, Merton equates sin with the identity-giving structures of the false self. This in itself is significant. The focus of sin is shifted from the realm of morality to that of ontology. For Merton, the matter of who we are always precedes what we do. Thus sin, is not essentially an action, but rather an identity. Sin is a fundamental stance of wanting to be what we are not. Sin is thus an orientation to falsity, a basic lie concerning our own deepest reality. Likewise, inversely, to turn away from sin is, above all, to turn away from a tragic case of mistaken identity concerning our own selves."

3/24/09 @ 9:50am

Just finished a conference with father Robert. He was a tall, bald man who resembled Darth Vader (when Luke takes his mask off, except with out the scars). He wore the customary Trappist black and white outfit with a pair of combat looking boots. He was a light-hearted man with a winsome personality. He had to be in his low 70's. He spoke from John 5. Story about the man near the pool of Bethsaida. He said so many profound things. I wish I had a notepad. Basically he highlighted the event as an event with Jesus. For father Robert, that's exciting all by itself. For father Robert, the miracle was not the healing of the man after 38 years of illness. The miracle is the earthiness of Jesus' intentionality to be in relationship with this person. Fr. Robert then mentioned that after Jesus heals him, he tells him not to sin anymore. Fr. Robert mentioned that that statement seemed to be paradoxical. How could the man have sinned? He's been cripple for 38 years. He said the clue to understanding this lies in the response that he gave to Jesus when Jesus asked if he wanted to get well. The man basically responded "every time the angel stirs the water someone gets in my way!" The man totally missed Jesus' question. Fr. Robert continued by saying the man was a complainer, a grumbler, a critic. These sins had the potential to keep him lame even after he was physically healed. Fr. Robert then spoke of success, and that the mark of success is not what we do, but our love relationship with the Father. Great stuff!

The unceasing question in my mind as I reflect is, what am I or rather, how am I to live in NYC?

(More entries to come)

Karis' Room Transformation (Phases 1 & 2)

So we are almost done with Karis' room! Here is a link to a gallery where you can follow the transformation from Home Office to Baby's Nursery!!!! Enjoy!

http://gallery.me.com/rosangelavillodas#gallery

Phases I & II are complete! Stay tuned for Phase III... THE FINAL PHASE!!! ;-)