He is for me...

Those words are so hard for me to swallow some times.  Life is so challenging.  The decisions and situations we face are rarely black and white.  And our emotions surrounding them make them even more complicated.

So as I face "my giants" and myself.  I sing this song with tears in my eyes praying that God will burn those words in my heart and help me know them words as true...

...I know that you are for me...

And I pray, that you too will know that He is for YOU. Enjoy the song, written and sung by Kari Jobe.

Do you have any songs that have spoken straight to your heart and have blessed you?

Announcement: New Year... New Endeavors

So, there's a reason why I haven't blogged since October.... It's probably not a great reason but a reason nonetheless. :)  Things have been pretty busy for us with the holidays, parties, KARIS!  But that's not all.  There have been a lot of transitions happening for me.  As well as some big decisions that took a lot of courage for me to make.  But I did it, I took a leap of faith and am trusting in the Lord to complete the work he had begun in my heart one summer, a long time ago, at a VBS in Brooklyn, NY.

So, with that said... It's official! As of January 1st, 2011 I am the New Life Kids Director at New Life Fellowship!  I'm so excited to be joining a staff that truly desires to partner with families to reach the next generation.  And am even more excited to work with an amazing group of volunteers that love the children of New Life Fellowship.

Love this pic from our 1-3rd Grade Environment

So, as I move forward in the position God has placed me I ask of and covet your prayers.  And a "you can do it!" on my FB wall once in a while! ;)

Thanks!  Let's go!!! :)

Check out my bio here! (Scroll all the way down)

An Autumn Sabbath

Rick and I typically like to observe the Sabbath once a week as a gift from God.  A day to Stop, Rest, Delight and Contemplate. Last Saturday we spent it in the heart of Brooklyn, Grand Army Plaza.

It was a beautiful Saturday morning.  The sun was shining, it wasn't too hot or too cold.  The temperature was just perfect.  Perfect for a farmers market, a stroll in Prospect Park and a walk up 7th Ave. (in Park Slope).

Karis had yet to have her first train (subway) ride so we decided that what better day than today.  We had been worried that she would be afraid of the loud train and strange surroundings but quite the opposite happened.  She loved every minute!  And even slept on the train ride back!

Karis on the train!

We went to the farmers market in Grand Army Plaza and enjoyed the sights, the sounds and the wonderful smells.  We enjoyed a morning cinnamon roll and fresh cup of apple cider, yum!

Delicious Veggies and such!

All kinds of root vegetables.

Beautiful chili peppers!

We also had the opportunity to sit and browse through a small bookstore on 7th Ave.  This was my view...

Sitting on a couch in the back of the bookstore... My view!

I hope and pray that you all have a chance to experience a sabbath where you can stop the hurried life we live, rest in God's love, Delight in what God has given us, and contemplate what He is doing in your life today!


Here is a video where Pastor Pete Scazzero shares on Sabbath for the New Life Fellowship 2010 Lenten Initiative:



Enjoy!

Nursery University

Last night I couldn't sleep.  So I decided I would watch a movie on my iPhone via the Netflix App.  There was a movie listed on my Instant Queue that sparked my interest so I decided to watch it.  I thought to myself, "Self, this shouldn't be to heavy a movie to watch at 12:30am."  Boy was I wrong.

I watched a documentary by Director Marc H. Simon and Co-Director Matthew Makar, called "Nursery University".  This documentary follows five families through the harrowing process of applying to nursery school in New York City, where hypercompetitive parents and elite institutions have made pricey consultants and toddler tutors part of the admissions process.

I added this documentary to my Netflix instant queue curious as to how crazy things actually were. Let's just say, this is not the movie you want to watch if you are trying to unwind.  Especially if you have a preschool bound child you are raising.


First off, I will say that the movie was well made.  It wasn't groundbreaking documentary film making at it's best, but it did the job well enough.  This documentary took me through a range of emotions, not because it was amazing cinematography but because of the closeness of the situation of these parents to my situation (in some ways).  My emotions went as follows: confusion, worry, laughter, anxiety, disgust, anxiety, annoyed, hopeless, anxiety, joy.  I start to worry.

So many thoughts kept floating through my head about Preschool.  What's the process?  Is it that serious? Should I be concerned? What do I look for in a school?  I don't want to be a part of a process like that.  Where do I begin? When do I begin thinking about Preschool?  What are my options?  Are there any options?  Are there any good options?


In the film there were 5 very different families going through this preschool process.  Some were very aware of the "game" that was being played and felt they had no choice but to play it.  Some were convinced of all of the "feeder school" hype.  Believing that there are some elite private preschools that lead to elite elementary schools, elite middle schools, and elite high schools that are feeder schools into the Ivy league schools.  Some preschool administrators laughed at that notion, in the film, and others did not confirm but did not deny that that is the case.  But the lengths that parents would go through to get their three year old into a "good" preschool really caught me by surprise.


First of all, they would begin "preparing" and thinking about their child's preschool from the moment they are born. Hiring preschool admissions consultants at $7,000 per consultation/meeting.  Parents and consultants would be anticipating the day after labor day (September the year before they are to start school), to man the phones and speed dial their top choice schools... just to get an application.  You cannot email, mail or show up at the door to most of these top preschools.  You only can call on that day between 9:00am and 11:00am to get an application before they run out.  And some preschools only have 120 applications to hand out for twenty open spots in their school.  Other preschools choose whether or not you get an interview via a lottery even after you've filled out an application.


And the application...?  Think about college admissions.  There are a ton of questions about your 3 year old's skills and an admissions essay required.  With a $50-$200 application fee.  Then if you get chosen to interview, you your significant other and your child are invited to talk and "play" as they observe all three of you.  And then... you wait.  You wait to hear from your top choice schools praying you receive the ever coveted thick envelope!  But even though you applied in September you will not hear back till March of that year.


Parents would exaggerate on their applications saying "my child knows 3 languages". They would name drop "I know David Letterman". One story that had made the news was a stock broker that illegally sold some stock to try to get their child into one of these elite Manhattan preschools. Wow!  I think he went to prison.


One of the families was a mom and a dad who lived in Harlem.  The father was an ex-boxer turned bartender and the mom was a stay at home mom (I believe...).  They grew up in tough situations where they didn't get a whole lot of great options for education.  They desperately wanted to give their child opportunities they didn't have.  And here they were entering this greuling preschool application process with Investment Bankers, celebrities and very wealthy, connected parents.  Typically these parents would apply to anywhere from 8-12 top private preschools.  This particular family applied to one.  They put all of their hopes and dreams for their 3 year old son on this one, difficult to get into preschool.  My heart broke for them.  They were not your typical elite pre-school applicants.  But they knew what they were getting into,  they knew what was at stake... a whole lot more than most of the usual applicants.

Part of what is sad about this is how broken and unfair the whole process is.  But that's for another blog post.  :)

 So now there is my family.  As my husband and I fumble through this journey called parenthood I can't help wonder, Are we REALLY  doing all we can to provide opportunities for Karis?  Is there something else I should be doing?  Should I go the route of these other parents and try to give her every opportunity I can?


I don't want to sit here and judge these parents and the lengths they are going to to get their child into one of these "elite" preschools.  I don't know their situations.  And is some ways I'm wondering if I am doing all I can as a parent.  I think all parents wonder that at some point.


But what I couldn't get over was the anxiety and hurriedness in the process of preschool admissions.  Rick is getting ready to preach this Sunday on slowing down as a Way of Life for us as Christians (Contemplative Spirituality).  Not lazyness or procrastination but slowing down to be present in all things.  Slowing down to be with God in silence, reflection, prayer, reading scripture.  And slowing down to be with others.  We live in such a speed addicted world.  Especially here in all five boroughs of New York City.  It's so easy to get  caught up in all of the hype and to feel like you are lacking if you aren't a part of it.


So as a mom, living in New York City, wanting to provide the "best" opportunities I can for my child, I find it very difficult to take the time to slow down and be fully present with my family, myself and with God.  New York is such a cut throat city where you need to be a go getter to be successful (however you would define success). I by no means feel like Karis needs to attend one of these elite schools.  It's just that being a parent in society today is so challenging and demanding.  The expectations society puts on us as parents can be overwhelming and all consuming.  It's difficult to shut down those voices for fear of being categorized as a bad parent. 

So how does one live out contemplative spirituality in New York City as a parent of a small child?  Good question.  I would say slowly, thoughtfully and reflectively.  All things contemplative.  What's the alternative?  Living frantically to try to live up to other people's standards.  Missing out on the here and now.  Watching and enjoying your child grow up right before your eyes.


In the words of Ferris Bueller, "Life moves pretty fast.  If you don't stop to look around once in a while, you could miss it."

For more information on Contemplative Spirituality (Slowing down to be with God, self and others) go Here and/or read Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero.

If you have any recommendations or advice about preschools in New York City (Brooklyn, Queens, etc.) please let me know.  Any and all advice welcomed. Thanks! :)

Nursery Rhyme Confessions: Exhaustion!

WARNING: This is not one of those happy go lucky blog posts. It's life as it happened.  I just wanted to share a little brief blog-vent. Thanks for listening. :)


Karis is a full blown toddler.  She must be!  She has all of the symptoms: Toddling (walking clumsily) all around the house, touching everything within her reach, putting objects in her mouth that weren't meant to go there, non-sensical- unexplained crankiness, uncontrollable curiosity, fits of frustrated whinyness... and on and on and on.

Now there will be some of you reading this and saying to yourself, "Awwww, how cute.  She's just a baby... just a toddler.  Enjoy her while she's young..." etc.  You must not be living with a toddler right now.

Today was one of those days.  One of those days that parents of small children have.  Where nothing is easy and the day seems to have no end.  We were tired.  Mentally, our minds were spent and physically, we were exhausted.

I recently started working at my church, New Life Fellowship, as Communications Director, which I am super excited about.  We had a couple of staff meetings today and didn't have anyone to watch Karis so Rick and I decided to bring her along.  We came prepared: (1) Her Abby Caddaby doll, (2) Lunch (3) Endless Cheerios (4) Sippy cup, etc.  We were good to go.  But it was a long day.


The day started out great.  Karis was well behaved and eating cheerios while we had our first meeting.  She was sooooo good.  I was so proud of her!  Not many toddlers can do that. As the day progressed though she understandably became more restless.  She had a nap and all but it was a full day away from home for her.


By the time we were done with the meetings, around 3:30pm, it was time for Rick and I to FINALLY eat lunch, but she was ready for nap # 2.  So needless to say lunch was fast, furious and messy to say the least.  We jumped in the car to go home and Karis was asleep by the time we hit the end of the block.  She was so tired but had a good nap.


We got home and then it began.  The whining...  She wasn't thirsty, she wasn't hungry, she wasn't tired... She wanted to be picked up, put down, played with, left alone... and we... were still tired.


Today, I was not super mom.  I was tired, overwhelmed, scatterbrained among other things.  I needed an "Office" (An Office is a time to STOP, SLOW DOWN, CENTER, and PAUSE to be with Jesus. With times of silence and reflection).

Today wasn't an easy day. Tomorrow's a new day. Tomorrow will be better.  :)

Hi Ho... Hi Ho... It's Off to Work I Go... Kinda!

So Karis is a little over 13 months old now.  And life, after the party, has resumed.  Oh boy has it resumed.  She's walking and her teeth (all two of them) have made their grand entrance.  Motherhood is in full swing for me and I still don't know what I'm doing. :)

Before Karis was born I was at a place in my professional (vocational) life where I didn't quite know what I should do with myself.  I had many different options open to me but didn't know what to do.  I had a job at JetBlue headquarters when the recession hit so 1 month short of my 1 year job anniversary I lost my job. Interestingly enough, I found out I was pregnant with Karis 3 months prior and hadn't told anyone at work yet.  So here I was 3 months pregnant, out of a job and not sure what to do.  How will I find a job in this recession 3 months prego???  It became a good time to just chill, regroup and rediscover God (long story, will share one day in the not-so-near future). :)

Six months later Karis was here and I was an overjoyed and overwhelmed mother. For a while I was content being a stay-at-home mom; being able to be their for all of her milestone moments has been pretty cool. And forming such a tight bond with her has been amazing... a bit much at times... but still AMAZING.  Still something was missing.  I needed to do something, to be creative to be innovative to exercise my business "muscles".  I wanted to go back to work, to build a career.  I knew I couldn't go back to the corporate world.  I didn't like it.  I felt restricted and a bit smothered.  And I REALLY didn't want to leave Karis.  I wanted to be there, especially at this young of an age. For some mom's staying at home works.  And boy do they have their work cut out for them. It's fulfilling and their dream "job".  For other mom's working out side of the home works.  I was kinda in the middle.

I wanted it all. My "dream job" and the joys of staying at home with my daughter.  So I began my search for a Work-from-Home job.  There were ads everywhere... but I couldn't find one that I enjoyed doing.  I needed to be able to take ownership of something.  Build something from nothing (figuratively).  I wanted a job that afforded me ownership, creativity, business/marketing elements and allowed me to put my daughter down for a nap in between.  So when Karis was 3 months old I started working for Bella Pictures as a Photography Consultant.  The job sounded perfect.  I would work from home setting up appointments for my self and then go out and meet with couples getting married to share with them what Bella can offer them.  I was ready to go.  I had three meetings with three different couples and quickly was reminded of how much I dislike sales.  At first the job didn't sound like sales, but that's what it was.  I quickly became overwhelmed with the expectations of the job and having a 3 month old I was nursing.  Something didn't click.  I left Bella.

After that I searched and searched and couldn't find anything that met my criteria. I decided I may have to go back to school and find a new profession altogether.  I went through all the possible careers I could go in to and once again became overwhelmed.  I was just about to give up when God came through.  I really hate to sound so cliche but I know of no other way to word it.  He sorta set things up in a way that I could have never done.

As many of you know my sister had her own graphic design company on the side called ValleDesigns.  She has slowly built up her clientele and was needing help to manage the accounts all while maintaining a full time job.  I had previous experience working for an Interactive Marketing firm called Sharpe Partners and have a BBA in Marketing, and had nothing else to do so why not!  Amazingly enough this opportunity afforded me the freedom, creativity, entrepreneurial and marketing experiences I had been looking for, all while beign able to change my daughters diaper in between! Woo Hoo!

Working with Veronica (my sister) has been awesome.  I am able to do a little bit of everything. A bit of project managing, a bit of designing, a bit of marketing, a bit of client relations, a bit of business planning, A BIT EVERYTHING!  It's so exciting to be able to build a business.  It can be anything you want it to be...!  And I can do it with my baby playing right next to me.

Now, I don't want to create this false image that it has been easy, because it hasn't.  I've had to balance work/Karis time and some days Karis wants it to be "Karis time" all day everyday.  And in terms of the job itself: working with difficult clients, tight deadlines, growing a business, and standardizing the way we work has been challenging, frustrating and rewarding all at the same time.

So, I am now a work from home mom, building a business and raising a beautiful daughter.

So to make a long story longer :) I am so grateful to the Lord for orchestrating this.  To get to this point I had to go through a lot of difficult times (an understatement).  There were a lot of tears, despair, doubt, sadness and many other emotions that preceded this destination.  And funny enough I'm kinda thankful to the Lord for the journey that brought me here.  He used some VERY tough times to form my character and set up an amazing situation.  Don't get me wrong I totally wouldn't have minded not going through any of it but am still very aware of God's process (part of it, anyway) in forming me and blessing me, however strange the process. :)

 

To find out more about ValleDesigns click HERE.  We design websites, and many print items: invitations, save the dates, menus, brochures, business cards, you name it we design it!

Happy Birthday Karis!

On May 10th, 2009 9:26am Karis Rose came into this world and changed our world forever.  What a blessing she has been this past year.  And I can't believe how quickly this year has past.  It's all going so fast.  I have to keep reminding myself to slow down and enjoy the here and now.  Take some time soak in the little moments with her and Rick and really reflect on where we have been and where we are now.  It has been a helluva ride! Crazy busy, crazy exaustion, but crazy amazing!

On Saturday we Celebrated Karis' first year at my mothers house.  It was soo much fun.  I had a blast planning it and.... yes..... of course I got carried away with the planning.  But Karis will only turn one once!  I wanted to have fun with it!

As I began the planning process (many months in advance) I was at a loss.  I search online, high and low for the best "theme" for her party.... butterflies? No.  Cupcakes? Maybe. Abby Caddaby?  Nah! (For those who don't know Abby Caddaby is a fairy monster character on Sesame street that Karis loves to watch and dance to).  I started following all of these blogging mommy's who have custom-made-from-scratch parties that looked absolutely fabulous!  I said.... I totally can do that!   So I broke out Photoshop and Illustrator and began designing a concept.  LOL!  Next thing I know I was a month away from her birthday!  Life had gotten so busy for me that I never got around to designing my "custom-made-from-scratch" birthday party theme.

So with the help of Veronica, I found this birthday theme that I thought was so simple, so pretty and so cute and I said that's it!  I'll run with that!   I still wanted to have a custom made feel to the party so I decided to put some extra things together myself.  So, I looked at the napkins, the plates and the cups and I began designing cupcake toppers!

I also had fun putting together the favors for the kids.

For her cake, I went to a local bakery in Floral Park and gave them one of the plates and asked them to make me a cake!  Here is the end result:

I purchased the candle as well as all of the plates, napkins etc. online!

There are so many photos of her birthday party thanks to Drew Hyun and my brother Jeff!  Thank you both soooooo much for taking pics.  You both did a wonderful job!

If you'd like to see all of the photos from the party you can go HERE.  Enjoy!